Thank you for wishing me happiness,
that means a lot…
I don’t know why but I just can’t remember where was the last time someone told me to be happy.
Even those birthdays wishes, sometimes it’s just a package of wishes.
By the way, besides those lines, and one of the reasons why I remember those lines…
I just want to put it here that I’m having my episodes last night.
I was so careless and stupid to trigger on my own,
The last time I had it was in 2019, I thought I’m already healed but the truth is… I haven’t.
I still need time to mend this trauma inside me, and no one knows I’m suffering… on my own.
I never shared it to anyone, that this part of me was broken.
That this part of me might become something that is too big to let it go…
That this part of me is still hurting myself…
That this part of me is my biggest scar.
That this part of me isn’t finished yet.
I need to start learning to deal with it from the scratch,
It has become a hole inside me this whole time.
I hope, that I can get through it this me.
I can,
Get through it this time.
I am,
Not gonna run this time.
I am,
Here for myself.
11/12-02-2023
