2021 at a glance...

One
earlier this year, i was hyped becoming a new nctzen. i think that i reconcile myself little by little. but yes, kpop do help me healed faster from what happened last year...

Two
nothing much, i just back at taking selfies with makeup. getting into kpop world deeper and those selca day? that was not bad apparently...

Three
coming back to the office never been this good, meeting colleagues having the company dinner for the first time in a while...

Four
WHO TF EXPECTED THAT I WILL MEET YOU? I mean... why are you still being my number one heart stealer? you just make me realize that how hard i try, if it's not the way then that's not the answer :(
this month is quite colorful tho?
bestie came to jtown, 2nd time to the office during fasting month
having a bad interview with ‘that’ company, a person specifically…
going back to hometown with bestie, it’s just the two of us

Five
the eid month, first time in 2 years going back to purwodadi. it’s also my bestie wedding by the end of the month, and finally going back to jtown. it’s back to the office for the farewell and welcoming.

Six

again, not much. a daily life of an employee life living in kost with cats! on of the things that help me going through my day. i tried my luck to join a video live concert with SuperM this month :)

Seven

time to go back again to the hometown baby. i was hitting a jackpot by announced as of the winners for the virtual concert and fanmeet for SuperM :(

i got a haircut like wendy! that was the shortest after my elementary day i think?

Eight

mom's bday week + SuperM virtual concert. that was my first time, and being on the same screen with them, and marklee to be specific??? i just cannot forget the moment of a lifetime that day. this month i got my first album of SuperM and Red Velvet, also i started watercolor again.

Nine

i just don't have any idea how fast the night changes, it's september already. i met my high school crush in my friend's wedding, also got a time to enjoy holiday in jogja with bestie.

Ten!

participating in october art challenge, going on a family trip for the first time in a while, being excited using film and the photos are actually come out good. i met my high school besties in a while!

Eleven

i don't know but the 11th month seems so tough for me... one of my colleagues is being terminated due to the performance he had for the past 6 month. i've been offered to move to the sales team... and i said yes... i'm eating out a lot with my friends to cope up with my hard feelings as mentioned in the first sentence.

Twelve

it's been quite slow month at work, happy that i had time to spent to just enjoy and relax. watched spiderman 2 times, celebrated birthday in my own way... and just enjoy things i guess?

and... it has been months since these dentist appointment things... i finally wear braces by the end of these month 😬

actually i asked my mother many times, but seems like she won't give me permission until i went to the dentist and got the x-ray to know my tooth's condition. and it's worse than i thought... so i have a 'business' with 3 dentists, one of them is an oral surgeon... soo yeah, it's that bad

- by the way this post has been in my draft since november, so when i published it, it will show the date where the draft was first added 🙈

It's been rough lately...

I don't know why but this week has been mentally and physically drained. Although yes, I'm working from home, but it is what it is right? Yesterday is the peak moment when I was having my breakdown, like I can't hold it anymore...

The peak is coming after the lunch meeting and I just back at my task, then this customer came. I was wrong in the first place because I cannot control my emotion and I was breaking bad until this customer come and I was having a breakdown after the phone call ended.

So there's a background story when the day after I just heard that my teammate is resigning. It's not the actual resign in the usual term, but could be translated as terminated. I know that I don't have a good control when there's a sudden change in my surroundings, and this time it got me like... bugging? It's just so fast and I'm a little frightened actually. I also think that I need some help, so I planned to register for a consultation. Yet the moment I write this, I call it off. I think not yet, I'll get help if it's literally worsen and I can't help.

By opening this blog, I'm feeling better already. This is also my footprint so that I can look back in the future, to the things I've been going through...

So that's it? I just hope it's not getting worse. By NCT2021 announced, I feel better already. My boys are coming back 😊💚