Something about LIFE: Marriage

So last night I had a deep conversation with my mother. We talked everything about life, and it lasted for an hour and a half. And last night I decided to tell my mother something I haven't told her for the last 2 years (or more maybe) about my love life and my friendship. Why I haven't told her anything about me in the past 2 years? I don't know, I am just afraid if she thinks that her daughter is not "baik-baik saja" with her friends, or it's just me who cannot explain how my life goes outside.

Friends, having a deep conversation with your mother will cure your heartbreaks and also make you learn something about life. And for me, in this quarter life crisis, I think that marriage is the best problem-solving. A perfect husband will make my life complete and I won't have any burden like this. BUT NO FRIENDS, I've just changed my mind...

And I'm not gonna tell you about the "enak-enak", but I want you to think about your future marriage life.

This is a question I always think about lately,

WHAT IS THE MARRIAGE FOR?

In religion point of view, in this case, Islam, you do marriage for completing a half of your imaan. OK. You do marriage for prohibiting zina. OK. You do marriage because you've planned your future perfect family. OK... But wait

Most of the people dream their wedding dreams, but somehow they just didn't prepare THE REAL LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE. They want to marry because they want to fulfill their desire or they just want to... I think it is the main reason why many couples are getting divorced nowadays.

They declare their love too early and do not understand how love works after saying I Do. One thing my friends, one thing, MARRIAGE IS NOT ONLY ABOUT HAVING AN AMAZING PARTY DECORATIONS AND BEAUTIFUL BRIDESMAIDS IN THE PHOTO AS PUBLISHED IN SOCIAL MEDIA.

Life after marriage is more than having a beautiful photo of a baby with her/his Ma and Pa as it spreading in social media.

Life after marriage is more than having a beautiful photoshoot.

Life after marriage is more than having an expensive honeymoon to Maldives.

Life after marriage is more than saying I LOVE YOU & I DO.

There are many things to be prepared to build a family which lasts into Jannah, my friends. Please check your 'niat' before you say you want to marry, please don't married if you just want to follow the trends.

I suggest to ask yourself about these questions before saying that you want to marry:

1. WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO MARRY?

2. WHAT TO PREPARE IF YOU WANT TO MARRY?

3. WHY IS MARRIED IMPORTANT?

If you already have the answers, ask your heart once again, pray to Allah many times, do I really ready to complete a half of my imaan? If YES, then CONGRATULATIONS!

You may really ready to marry someone whose name is written in Lauhul Mahfudz besides your name :)

I'm not being "sok tau", but I just want to tell you, please do not marry because of trends. As we see, there are A LOT OF MARRIED YOUNG COUPLES PUBLISHED IN SOCIAL MEDIA. And I believe it once triggered you to follow their step to marry, ya gak? Honestly, YES, I myself want to marry as soon as possible, but then I think about the real life after marriage. I heard and learned a lot how life after marriage looks like from elder people. Then I try to change my mind, "it does not that simple".

Now, before you decided to marry, ayo menyibukkan diri untuk introspeksi. Memperbaiki diri, memperbaiki niat dulu sebelum kita benar-benar siap untuk bilang bahwa kita ingin menikah. :)


Dari aku seseorang yang juga galau menunggu seseorang,
Jika kita berjodoh pasti Allah dekatkan :)

A Self Reflection Post #4 : Who Do You Think You Are?

We often think that we cannot become someone we always want to be.

There is a sentence that I take it for granted before. Then I realize how does it mean when I heard this words as the opening line from the CEO of KitaBisa.com, "Apalah aku yang cuma remah-remah rempeyek" or "Apalah aku yang cuma butiran debu". I see how words really matter when I know the power within the words itself. Yes, Mas Timmy makes me realized that sometimes when we say this words, unconsciously, we underestimate ourselves. As long as we believe that we are nothing, then that is the time we wasted our chances.

Who says that we cannot be someone who we always dreaming of?

Dear you, you can be whoever who want to be. Dream higher. Believe in yourself. And focus on becoming the person you always really want to meet.

A Self-Reflection #3: Being Nice to People

One of the keys to happiness is to be a nice person. Whatever we get in reverse, being a nice person is a must. But sometimes life is so tough until it makes us think that we do not deserve happiness and we start thinking that "why we must be nice while they cannot do it in reverse?"
That's true, being a nice person is exhausting when you hope that everyone also nice to you. I mean, if you are nice because you want them to do the same, you will never get what you want.
Do not stop my darling, being a nice people do not need a special requirement, being a nice people is a relief for our soul.
When they cannot be as nice as you, or even mean, they try to say:

Even though they do not nice, at least you are the one who can inspire them to always be nice. Do not be afraid, "The world is full of nice people. If you cannot find one, BE ONE".

Love,

IPS

A Letter to My Future ME

Dear My Future ME,
How are you?
How have you been?
How's life?
You know there are so many questions that I want to ask, but it seems like God doesn't let us meet yet.
I am broken when I heard your father passed away last year. But look at what I've done. I want to send you my deepest condolences but then it just saved in my draft. At that moment I remember I am very afraid to send you those words. I am afraid if my words will hurt you more. I am afraid you will ignore me...
You know, long way before 24th October I wrote a birthday wishes on my draft. I had to revise it every day. But again, it just left as a draft. Pity me, I forgot about the day and I realized when it was 5th November. It's sucks, isn't it?
There is no word send to you. Am I regret all that thing? You know I may not, but the most disturbing thing I feel since that moment is that I can never be the one who can comfort you when you're at your lowest point.
If only you know, I may not send you a word like never, but my prayer is always with you.
Maybe at this point, it is my highest point of missing you. And you know, there is nothing I can do. Even to send you a message. Because, who do you think I am?
They say the highest point of missing someone is when they are not meet or send messages to each other but deep down in their heart they are praying for each other.
I am, ain't you?
Whether you know it or not, I am always here to mention your name in my prayer.

Yours truly,
April 5th, 2017

Titip Rindu

Terkadang kita dibuat bingung oleh rasa yang tidak bisa kita sangka. Katanya, kita tidak bisa menerka kapan kita bisa jatuh cinta. Tapi siapa yang benar-benar mengerti apa itu cinta? Selain pujangga yang biasa merangkai kata.
Terkadang menjadi rindu itu tidak mudah. Karena ada banyak perasaan yang tidak bisa tersampaikan secara kata. Hanya sebuah rasa yang masih saja menyimpan asa. Tapi apalah kita yang tidak pernah bersua bahkan bertatap muka.
Hei kamu, aku menjadi semakin bingung ketika aku sudah tidak pernah lagi mendengar suaranmu, melihat wajahmu, tapi semakin hari semakin besar saja rasa yang membuat sesak didada.
Kita dekat, tapi kamu jauh.
Tentang kata-kata itu, bagaimana kamu bisa memaknainya? Ya, maksudnya kita itu dekat, 5 langkah saja mungkin sudah bisa bertatap muka. Tapi apa gunanya jika kamu jauh? Maksudnya kamu itu ada disana, aku tau tempatnya tapi aku tidak tau perasaannya. Kalau kata kawanku, "dalamnya lautan bisa diukur, dalamnya hati siapa yang tau". Ya benar saja.
Kamu hanya menerka wanita yang punya rasa. Mungkin aku, mungkin dia, atau mungkin yang satunya? Bingung atau tidak peduli? Kamu itu memang istimewa, kata dia kamu sulit ditebak. Tapi kataku? Tidak tahu. Mungkin aku sudah tidak lagi mengenal dirimu, tidak lagi bercengkrama denganmu. Tapi bagaimana bisa aku menyimpan begitu banyak rindu?
Tidak apa-apa. Katanya lewat doa InshaAllah semua akan tersampaikan. Maka selain rindu yang kutitipkan lewat doa, maaf ya namamu jadi sering tersebut dalam setiap doaku...

She is Trying

She is not really special

She is not really calm,

She only barely say a word

But once she talk, she will flare like a flame

I know that she is afraid

And sometimes overthink

She often swallow in her thoughts

Knowing that there's no one in her world

I mean, she thinks that nobody stay

She once believed about everything,

Like "everything will be okay"

Then I know something just hit her, and she just no longer believe everything and everyone.

I know she lies,

She only looks like she's perfectly fine

I always know that she is confused

But no, she is not lost.

She just realizes that all of her life is just temporary

Now, everyone see her like she is invincible.

Yes, she make it her own.

She's just setting every messed thing in her mind

I know her better that she tries

As she always did.

Semarang, March 14th 2017

11.40 p.m.

A Scent from the Past

Mungkin ada banyak kenangan yang tersimpan dalam benak ketika kita masih bersama. Menjalin kisah yang kita percaya bisa selamanya. Tapi apa daya, terkadang waktu memperjelas semua bahwa konstruksi selamanya itu tidak akan pernah ada untuk kita berdua. Kau timbulkan luka yang membuatku berpikir arti dari kebersamaan kita selama ini. Aku tahu, berkali-kali kau ulangi lagi kesalahan yang tidak semua wanita bisa terima. Tapi pada akhirnya aku menyerah. Aku tidak bisa lagi memendam luka yang kau buat untukku. Mungkin aku masih akan terima maaf yang selalu kau ucap, tapi aku sudah tidak akan menerima apa yang sudah kita bangun dan kau runtuhkan begitu saja; kepercayaan.

Aku tau mungkin juga ini sulit bagimu. Tapi bagiku, rasa itu mungkin tetap akan ku kenang dan maaf aku sudah menerima hati yang baru....

Dia tidak sama sepertimu. Dia tidak memiliki senyum hangat sepertimu saat setiap kali aku memandangnya. Dia bukan orang yang akan muncul tiba-tiba di depan pintuku saat ku katakan rindu. Tapi dia yang akan selalu bersamaku bahkan sebelum aku mengucap rindu. Dia, dia yang menyembuhkan luka hatiku saat dirimu masih saja menampik bahwa tidak ada yang lain selain diriku. Dan sudah, semua sudah sampai disini saja...

Mungkin kau akan berusaha untuk tetap menghubungiku. Mencoba membujukkan jika saja aku bisa memafkanmu. Tapi tidak, aku sudah bersamanya.

Mungkin kau akan ada saat kau berusaha menemuiku, dan aku menyerah untuk mau bertatap muka denganmu. Menghirup aroma tubuhmu, dan aroma parfum yang dulu setia menenamiku. Namun seolah tersadar akan sihir aroma parfummu, aku teringat sesuatu. Aroma parfum inilah yang dulu berjalan pergi menjauhiku, dan dalam dekapan aroma parfum ini dulu jiwaku bersandar. Dulu aroma ini yang menemani dalam setiap canda dan tawa saat kita bersama. Kini dalam benakku, aku teringat bahwa hatiku seharusnya sudah tidak disini. 

Parfum yang kuhirup saat aku bertemu denganmu lagi, hanya akan mengingatkanku bahwa seharusnya hatiku sudah tidak lagi ada disini. Dan memperjelas bahwa aku sudah bukan milikmu lagi...

Entah besok atau kapan mungkin kita akan menemukan sebuah rekonsiliasi...

Terisnpirasi dari kisah Anna Fatima tentang parfum yang selalu mengingatkannya pada seseorang dimasa lalu.