2022: A Year of Unexpected Journeys

January
Opening the year with a pretty big slow movements, in work especially, just as it is
So jumping here and there from one doctor to another for the wisdom tooth minor ops scheduled for 14th February

February

For the first time in forever, laying down at hospital bed having a minor ops but with a full anesthesia

Having a week full break during the ops and to have a bed rest, since I cannot eat and literally throwing out so bad in the last day before coming out from the hospital

Just like that, been resting and just staying at home until bestie's wedding prep

March

My besties are finally tying the knot

Still need to go here and there for hospital check out after the minor ops, my mouth can finally be fully functioning after all

April

Nothing much happen actually, high school bestie is getting married during fasting month

Finishing Inuyasha for the whole freaking seasons before finishing my Quran recitation during Ramadan

May

Things happen unexpectedly! Got to visit HQ at Singapore after 3 years

Eventho something might happen during the training, it's an enjoyable trip after all

Had a welcoming dinner at CEO's house and tasted an authentic homemade Indian cuisine 

Visiting Fort Canning by myself, got to see fireworks during a catch up with a friend is still one of the highlight

June

Another company work trip to Malaysia! Had a chance to extend during the weekend before

Again, unexpectedly got an award for myself

July

So after MY trip, I'm flying to Jogja for Prambanan Jazz!

Staying at Wening's sister with adorable anabuls

Got a dinner treat from Mba Mita at Mil's Kitchen as well, the food is superb!

College close friend is also getting married the following weeks

August

So this month is the deciding month whether I'm staying or say yes to another offer

Been a very hard time to decide, but thankfully something unexpected is also make the ride enjoyable

Had a full day trip to Bogor, closing the day with a random drive ended up at gultik, WHAT A DAY

September

Before my last day by the end of the month, my manager come to visit

Got a quality time to ask and tell some things that haven't been unspoken during these past 4 months since May

Actually, things happen so fast during May to September! Manage some difficult conversations since managers are also trying to make me stay

But, it was a ride after all

October

...and I'm finally saying YES to a new adventure!

My manager is pretty active and adventurous? Got to experience a wall climbing together even I'm just few weeks old in the company. 

November

Back home again, another close college friend is married!

Got a chance to join BR event at Ragunan

Manager is back at the town and invites me to an event, ended up having a dinner at Ashta

December

HITC!

Mba Arik is also getting married. TBH this year many people are getting tied the knot ya

Hope next year also being a superb as well!

Sebenarnya apa yang aku takutkan hanyalah rasa kecewa ku sendiri
Karena kembali semua adalah soal perasaan
Satu memberi tapi tidak pernah diterima
Sungguh, aku tahu rasanya. Seumur hidupku aku memahaminya…

Ya, again.

1.
Sometimes, when this feeling is finally happening, hope becomes  a friend. Days, weeks, even months, there’s only one specific single persona as the subject.
“I know, without a tell, you’ll never know”

You know what I’ve just realized? Those days and weeks, I only have you as the subject, while I never know you, too, have a life :)

You have your own world. You have your own circle.

This little girl, might be someone who’s just out of your circle and never come to your attention.

2.

There’s only specific moment or words, that make me feel this way.

While, I realized, you have your own life.

You could think that this person is just somebody. While this somebody already think that you are the world.

Warmest Hug for the Strongest Soldier

In the battleground you’ve all around

From all the seasons you show yourself are one invincible

Though scars been tattooed all inside your body,

you still wish to get another pain painted.

This season when you tell the tale to a wanderer,

One had been amazed by the stories 

But they said there had been many wanderers 

Enchanted by your beautiful scars

Yet no one was able to embrace.

The whole country knows,

You’re one of the strongest soldiers.

Whose ever been fallen in love to a beautiful princess

Yet, you let her go cause of your ego.

Some says you still regretting

Cause now she married to another prince.

You still holding your glass, stand still

Pouring it somewhere if you need it

Said you had this river to throw the waste.

By now your journey is continuing its own tale

While this wanderer is hoping you could stay.

“If we keep crossing paths,

wish to see you finally had find a home.”

Cause she also hopes to be one,

undeniably.

This wanderer has been thinking,

What it is like

To give the strongest soldier a warmest hug.

Would it be like a scar that had been cured?

She thinks she needs to keep going.

She can only wonder the answer.

Jakarta,

6.20pm

26 Aug 2022

A Self-Reflection #6: Something Bothering

Been a while since the last time I write about a self-reflection post.

Did I lost? Maybe. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself for keep making the same mistakes, for not taking any notes, for not really paying attention to my personal trait. So whenever I'm at the crossroads, I can look back and remind myself to the things that calm me down.

And you know self, these past weeks has been the most tiring weeks since I need to reconcile and decide the next journey of my life. 

WORDS ARE EASIER THAN GETTING THINGS DONE.

...that was the thing I learned. Sometimes I hate people who keep telling me to push forward and keep going. That was the easiest thing to say but the hardest thing to do. Keeping myself sane, keeping my option open, keeping my mind and heart calm, keeping my plan on the right track, keeping my fears away? I admit it, I feel so lost and worry so much about my fears... I just want to embrace it and try to make it as my reminder. To keep going and keep everything right on the track.

But, now finally I decided it already. The next thing to do is to prepare for the next pages in my life, in a new place.

...and oh. People be telling I'm too hard with myself and I need to chill. You know what? One of the reasons why I keep pushing myself is so that the world would not be able to push me away. Or once it happen, I'm on my own foot. I need to build my own persistence and discipline.

and I met someone who (sometimes, it's just in my opinion) has the same trait as me. It's just so new that I knew someone with that perspective would have a chance to crosspath with me. He came with another perspective of life and that kind of straight-forward. I don't know but sometimes his reflection seems so lonely and sad... But he hide it well. He's the one with the strongest will and mind, trying to tell the world that he can conquer anything. His words sometimes reflects his own insecurities... If by any chance, we keep crossing path, I just want to wish you well, healthy, and long-life. Hope you will find someone to call your home.

Now, let's continue the journey. Let's open another door of a journey.

Hope you well, dear self. The battle is not yet began. Hang in there, as you always do, okay?

Jakarta, Sat 20 Aug 11.18 pm.

tuesday

these past 2 weeks, my week start in Tuesday since I was submitting a day leave on Monday.
it was nice avoiding monday hahaha, got a shorter week and not getting that monday blues

by the way, i just realised that i will go back writing a blog because of:

• i'm sad, confuse, or feeling blues
• i'm happy, in love, or feeling bright

i didn't write only on regular days 😅

some people we met for a season, some people we met for a reason. some for once in a lifetime.

SG, 17th May, 2022

HI YA!

been a while since my last post, arrghh hate to say that sometimes I forgot that I have this space to write and it's JULY already???

shoooooo many things happened and I don't know how I can put in into sentences.

work

talking about work, there's a lot of things happened and I don't know how to write it... we started the year a little bit slow. I can say that I'm also in my lowest energy level earlier. until my manager announced that we will have an off-site meeting after Eid (2 or 3 week of May) in Singapore.

it was my very first business trip oversea and i really happy to had that chance. going places in a company expenses? something i didn't plan before

the best thing? after that off site meeting, the following week the company announced that we will have another off site and bigger meeting in KL by the end of June. again it was unexpected and really happy that we're going oversea on company expenses!

life, love?

nothing much happen i guess? hahahaha. you know i tend to focus on my work lately rather than thinking about this. sometimes i'm worrying about this as well, but again, i want to only focus on the things i can control... not that i'm desperate enough to put it down, put i just don't want to stress myself.

and for YOU... wherever you are right now, whatever you are doing, there's always someone waiting for you to come into her life patiently. hoping that our life to be crossed path sooner... and that person is me.

you know that i'm here just waiting for that time to come.

and YOU... maybe i don't know you yet but i'm always believing that you will also waiting for me...

HAHAHAHAHA sound desperate enough? no actually... i'm just gonna let it flow and see how this life give me surprises.

Semarang, Wed, July 6. 10:49 PM

Hi Tan,

Life was never easy back then right?

You have been through so much in life. You've been bear your burden alone, endure your pain in silence, now that you have someone who shares your life with, I want you to believe that it will be okay...

The road that you have been taken is very tough and lonely, but on that day, someone has finally come to your life as your man, the one who will put you first. Finally there will be someone who accompany you in your darkest and lonely night... You'll never be alone again my friend...

Live after marriage will not be as easy as it seems, but not as scary as what you've seen. Marriage is about you two become one in the name of Allah and build the beautiful way that will lead you two to Jannah. One thing that I’d like to tell you, please always put Allah first in everything you’ll go through. InsyaAllah it will be beautiful till the end.

Thank you for always saying that nothing will change even though you're a wife, but since the ship is finally shipped now, I'll be happy if you can find your own happiness and put yourself first.

I can never promise you that I will always be there for you. But you can always count on me. Once again,

Congratulations for unlocking a new journey in your life.

Keep being the person who that you are, who stand for herself and kind to others

Love,