To be more grateful

these past months feels surreal and weird for me. started in Feb when all those nightmares are suddenly haunted me after years, i decided to finally asked for a pro help.

after that, it’s a life changing journey when everything happen unexpectedly and there’s a lot of ‘first times’ hahaha. me myself is sometime also questioning my own decision to do some new things.
BUT knowing that someone is cheering for me, even those are only sympathy or empathy, i feel grateful. (you know who you are)

one thing that i learn and currently perceive: i want to celebrate and cherish more the people around me, even tho that we may have a different pathway in the future, let’s focus on the ‘now’ and say thank you for staying with me. be filled with more gratitude and everything comes at ease.

so happiness now is equal to grace, gratitude and
someone reminded me these words:
happiness is meaningful when shared,

it’s not just a word dear darling.
it’s real when you really walk the talk.

7 April 2023

6.17 AM

the problem is

The problem is, I already invested so much in this
But I know I’m committed to nothing
And I once again gonna be the one that get hurt
But, I just want to process all these feelings and accept that what I’ve decided there will always be consequences

Good or bad, high or low,
Was never something that can be taken for granted
Because I’ll always be grateful for everything that comes into my life

It might come first as a blessing, then it will be a learning

I was known for denying all of those signals
But here I’m…
Trying to accept all the feelings that has been there and all the consequences that I need to face

Hang in there,
Hang in there.
It was once again, hurts
Like heaven.