A Letter to My Future ME

Dear My Future ME,
How are you?
How have you been?
How's life?
You know there are so many questions that I want to ask, but it seems like God doesn't let us meet yet.
I am broken when I heard your father passed away last year. But look at what I've done. I want to send you my deepest condolences but then it just saved in my draft. At that moment I remember I am very afraid to send you those words. I am afraid if my words will hurt you more. I am afraid you will ignore me...
You know, long way before 24th October I wrote a birthday wishes on my draft. I had to revise it every day. But again, it just left as a draft. Pity me, I forgot about the day and I realized when it was 5th November. It's sucks, isn't it?
There is no word send to you. Am I regret all that thing? You know I may not, but the most disturbing thing I feel since that moment is that I can never be the one who can comfort you when you're at your lowest point.
If only you know, I may not send you a word like never, but my prayer is always with you.
Maybe at this point, it is my highest point of missing you. And you know, there is nothing I can do. Even to send you a message. Because, who do you think I am?
They say the highest point of missing someone is when they are not meet or send messages to each other but deep down in their heart they are praying for each other.
I am, ain't you?
Whether you know it or not, I am always here to mention your name in my prayer.

Yours truly,
April 5th, 2017