A Self-Reflection #6: Something Bothering

Been a while since the last time I write about a self-reflection post.

Did I lost? Maybe. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself for keep making the same mistakes, for not taking any notes, for not really paying attention to my personal trait. So whenever I'm at the crossroads, I can look back and remind myself to the things that calm me down.

And you know self, these past weeks has been the most tiring weeks since I need to reconcile and decide the next journey of my life. 

WORDS ARE EASIER THAN GETTING THINGS DONE.

...that was the thing I learned. Sometimes I hate people who keep telling me to push forward and keep going. That was the easiest thing to say but the hardest thing to do. Keeping myself sane, keeping my option open, keeping my mind and heart calm, keeping my plan on the right track, keeping my fears away? I admit it, I feel so lost and worry so much about my fears... I just want to embrace it and try to make it as my reminder. To keep going and keep everything right on the track.

But, now finally I decided it already. The next thing to do is to prepare for the next pages in my life, in a new place.

...and oh. People be telling I'm too hard with myself and I need to chill. You know what? One of the reasons why I keep pushing myself is so that the world would not be able to push me away. Or once it happen, I'm on my own foot. I need to build my own persistence and discipline.

and I met someone who (sometimes, it's just in my opinion) has the same trait as me. It's just so new that I knew someone with that perspective would have a chance to crosspath with me. He came with another perspective of life and that kind of straight-forward. I don't know but sometimes his reflection seems so lonely and sad... But he hide it well. He's the one with the strongest will and mind, trying to tell the world that he can conquer anything. His words sometimes reflects his own insecurities... If by any chance, we keep crossing path, I just want to wish you well, healthy, and long-life. Hope you will find someone to call your home.

Now, let's continue the journey. Let's open another door of a journey.

Hope you well, dear self. The battle is not yet began. Hang in there, as you always do, okay?

Jakarta, Sat 20 Aug 11.18 pm.